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It's time I had some time alone

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Jun. 12th, 2006 @ 09:15 pm
oh folks, I am having a damn hard time

the tears, they will just come and go

nobody has to know about anything I've ever done

Apr. 25th, 2006 @ 10:27 pm
I know no one reads this anymore but I guess I might as well say I probably won't write in it anymore. I'm keeping a written journal now so you can just read that when I die or whatever.

Apr. 8th, 2006 @ 03:49 am
THe thing is: I'm taking some boss-ass classes next semester. I am writing as much poetry as I can when it doesn't get smudges by big ol' beer spills. Still though, Susan fucking Thomas has told me how good I am at it, so I think I might try to do it for money.

Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 06:19 am
I wish I just didn't sleep. When I do, it's for entirely too long. When I don't, I'm so goddamn prolific.

Feb. 14th, 2006 @ 06:19 pm
I've been committing suicide for three years to the day. Every other day I step up on a bridge, or put a gun to my head. Weekends are disposed for sitting inside a bottle with a black label and filling it up with tears. I still have to make a plan and write a note, and I'm never pleased with the outcomes. Another thing that happens every day is that I wonder why I would, but also why I shouldn't. I wish I could answer the questions that I've asked myself. I wish I could remember what it was like not to feel this way. It's very painful, you know, but it doesn't count as pain because you can't tell people how it feels.
Other entries
» (No Subject)
Abject failure without reason
Feb. 14th, 2006 @ 04:13 pm
» it's been difficult
wrote this after a real hard week 'round these parts. no title yet



So now that you sit behind oak desks,
You've even caused the clouds to march!
The stars and winking Venus, meanwhile,
Spray flak onto the rotors of a passing helicopter,
And below the taller trees have begun begging,
Bowing ever further to the fifty-odd make of car
That cut a hard and fast river into
The face of a planet that's laughing now.

The clouds are forced to ford the rivers, or just build
More permanent bridges. They've been
Trying to get to Africa, where they can
Plunge down and impregnate the Nile and the Congo
With the small lives of its people,
Who climb waterfalls and drink the sun,
All defiantly nude, their skin
Swallowing the thick rains.
Feb. 7th, 2006 @ 02:12 am
» HOLY SHIT STROKES FU
CK THEY ARE AWESOME

Sing me a song, you can be
Tell me a tale, just like me
To turn in my way, I'm being free
I'll try not to shake, I'm being free

Oh ooh

All that I do is wait for you
All that I do is wait for you
I can't get along with all your friends
Don't know how to act
It's all there is
Why do I accept the things you say?
You know what to change
But not in what way
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?

I am not you, we can have
Fun I'm almost thru, great success
It's about time, such a success
But you came thru, no expense

Oh ooh

All that I do is wait for you
All that I do is wait for you
I can't get away from all your friends
I'm not coming back
Its all there is
Why do I accept the things you say?
You know what to change
But not in what way
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
How long must I wait?
Jan. 15th, 2006 @ 02:28 pm
» Of the twenty-first-and-a-half century
I think I might submit this one to Braggs

I had to duck and dogde,
Making it up the stairs
From that lowest pursuer:
Clouds that had started
To cry tears which froze
Halfway down the sky's face
Because those puddles were
Laughing about their sheer
Liquid in the face of those
Solid vapors.

So upon each second stair
I stamped a flat sole.
Right, Left, Right, Left,
And I left behind thirty-five cents
And a tiny echo, who's latter half
Had just ten seconds prior
Decided that it would
Run opposite me
And out into the black and
Yellow road, where it could
Cry "love", and drive
With it's eyes closed
Into the ice, the wind
And the pale, damp moon.
Jan. 14th, 2006 @ 02:28 am
» For my Friends
What are you doing right now?
I am online, but I may be
Away from my computer right now
That is your answer, pal
And although I do consider you
One of my dearest friends
There are three other dear friends
Of mine, who are willing to
Sink a little drink and talk
At length about why exactly
We are friends, and what exactly
It has meant for us in the last
Five or so years of my life

I could say the same about you
Oh sweet friend of mine
But my tongue wouldn't be loosened
So tightly wound, I couldn't
Say anything at all
Jan. 2nd, 2006 @ 05:25 am
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